I didn’t start writing music because I thought I’d be great at it.
I started because I didn’t know how else to survive.
The world had chewed me up and spit me out, and I was searching for purpose and meaning in this whirlwind that had become my life. Divorce. Job loss. Depression. It all piled on faster than I could take. My family was there. What few friends I have were there. They’ve always supported me. I’m so grateful for them. But there was a void left in the wake of my first love loss that no one could fill.
So…
Every night I couldn’t sleep – I wrote.
Every day I couldn’t feel – I wrote.
Every meal I couldn’t eat – I wrote.
It started with poetry. I needed those tangible pieces of expression. They refilled my soul in a way nothing else could. Cuz I had things to say. Words I needed to get out that I couldn’t speak. Words between me and myself. And so, they flowed out of me and into journals, as I tried to pick up the pieces of myself and reshape them into something recognizable. And what I realized part way through doing that, is those pieces would never form the same person. No matter how tightly I fit them back together, the cracks still show.
But I’m learning to love the new me, cracks and all.
And realizing that life has highs and lows, and that we are who we are, because of the lows too. Because of that, I wouldn’t change anything that has happened. It’s led me here to this thing that I love. To Music. I am so grateful to live at a time where AI can empower people who would have never had a voice to craft something meaningful.
Manyface isn’t just a name. It’s my truth.
It’s using masking as a coping mechanism. Burying your feelings behind a facade. It’s the tiredness that comes with that. The weight. The shame. The stigma that makes people feel like they can’t share their heart with the world. It’s something I’m moving past, but subsequently in the middle of. It’s acknowledging the many versions of myself. The joyful. The bitter. The hopeful. The one still healing. Every song is a mask I take off or put on to say something that I wasn’t ready to say out loud. I hope you can feel it. Cuz my heart beats through every word.
You’ll never find me saying that I deserve to be the one behind the mask. The person behind the mask isn’t important. What makes me more deserving of being in front of people than the people in the background – the ones who work their asses off every day but are never truly seen?
Nothing.
Manyface isn’t just for me. Sure, this music has helped me survive, but the message behind it – of hope, of not being alone, of the path towards believing in yourself and what you can do – that doesn’t belong to me. This may never go anywhere, and if it doesn’t – I’m okay with that. Because if I can carry that message – through one song or one video – to even one person, then that’s enough.
So, if you’ve ever felt too deeply but still thought it wasn’t enough, if you’re quiet and feel unnoticed, if you’re loud but feel unheard, or if you’re silently broken – I hear you. I see you. And if you’re not ready to drop your mask yet, that’s okay.
Just know that you aren’t alone.
Manyface Music