Thank you to Karen Cann for supplying the background photograph used for this album via Unsplash’s free unlimited commercial use license.
[Verse 1]
Walked out the office, kinda nauseous.
Replayin' all the words my therapist would say :
Like -
"What's the most useful thing you learned today?"
Well, I don't know, that's hard to say, hard to decide.
See, the Doc did a review of what she prescribed -
"Maybe a higher dose'll keep him alive."
Oh, and "based on all you described" -
"Here's a neat label for what you survived."
What, are you surprised?
Thought you disguised?
Hid like a Jekyll when you are a Hyde?
Broken and beaten and tryna decide.
Tired of lyin', tired of cryin' -
tired of dyin' this shirt with my eyes.
Didn't ask for a tie-dye - of rage, regret, maybe even demise.
"Say hi to your wife," she says with a smile.
"Now breathe and go back to your life for a while."
Wait...
What wife? - What life?
My marriage is boxed up and gone.
This wreckage been playin' on loop for too long.
Why do you think I'm writing this song?
Divorced for months - aren't we movin' on?
No - apparently not
But doin' my part -
Back in the car - drive to a bar -
Life is so hard, when you forget who you are.
[Chorus]
Try to get out of bed - Refill these meds,
Sort out the nonsense inside of my head :
One pill for the panic, one pill for the lows.
One pill to forget what the other one knows.
Man, I swore I'd be fine - I swore on his name.
But these demons play chess and I'm losin' the game.
No one to blame,
But I'm still wearin' the shame somehow -
My side effects got a scroll bar now.
But hey, they tell me I'm stable - so I'll take a bow.
"Better" - they say...
I've never felt deader -
Just tape and a prayer holdin' my ass together.
[Verse 2]
Cuz she say I got this Adjustment Disorder -
Like "come back tomorrow" - brain outta order.
Comin' undone in my House of Horrors.
Tryna learn boundaries and set up these borders,
Tryna not let down my biggest supporters,
Tryna rebuild but my self-worth it smolders.
Some days I might be a little bit morbid -
But life ain't a movie - it's not pre-recorded.
Write as I live it - cuz ain't no fast-forward.
No script for survival - freestyle my way towards this-
a perfect line or hell even a chorus.
But there's no back in time - no sympathy for us -
That's right - no control Z for the year.
And if not for this rhyme?
Man, I don't think I'd be here.
[Chorus]
Try to get out of bed - Refill these meds,
Sort out the nonsense inside of my head :
One pill for the panic, one pill for the lows.
One pill to forget what the other one knows.
Man, I swore I'd be fine - I swore on his name.
But these demons play chess and I'm losin' the game.
No one to blame,
But I'm still wearin' the shame somehow -
My side effects got a scroll bar now.
But hey, they tell me I'm stable - so I'll take a bow.
"Better" - they say...
I've never felt deader -
Just tape and a prayer holdin' my ass together.
[Bridge]
Okay, I admit it...
These days, I might be a little bit morbid -
But life ain't a movie - it's not pre-recorded.
Write as I live it - cuz ain't no fast-forward.
No script for survival - freestyle my way towards this-
a perfect line or hell even a chorus.
[Outro]
Or how about a whole fuckin' song - HA!