I Have
An Alt-Rap Song about Depression.
by manyface music
I Have came from the simple question : “Is it just me?”
Because when you’re dealing with depression, it can feel like it is.
Like you’re the only one struggling to get out of bed. The only one smiling through something that feels fake. The only one stuck in a loop you can’t break out of.
The song became my way of saying : if you’ve been through something like this…you’re not alone.
It moves through a lot of difference experiences. Some heavy, some uncomfortable, some that people don’t always talk about out loud, but that’s the point.
Because speaking about what we’re going through is better than holding it inside. It can keep you here. And that’s what matters. More than progress, or having all the answers.
While the song begins, “it’s time to see, if you’ve ever been through the same messed up stuff as me,” it’s not about comparing pain, it’s not about who’s had it worse… it’s about naming what you’ve survived, and holding on to that.
Because if you’re still here…
that’s enough.
"Have you ever - told yourself lies as you tried to stay alive on a prescribed supply of smiles, but they didn't provide...the relief as described, or didn't work as advertised?"
Alt-Rap
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I Have Lyrics - Manyface Music
[Intro]
Welcome back children...
It's time to see,
if you've ever been through,
the same messed up stuff as me.
[Verse 1]
Yay! Okay, we'll start easy.
Ready?
Have you ever struggled to get out of bed?
I have.
Smiled through your teeth when having to meet someone new?
Oooh! Oooh! I have!
Have you ever suckled the corporate teet?
Felt incomplete while you lived in repeat?
Sold your soul to elites just to make it a week?
I have.
See? I have the receipts.
Have you ever said "I'm fine" with a fake-ass grin, while your chest screams - "bitch, we're dying again!"
Okay, not great, but just checkin' in...
see I thought it was only me,
but I'm starting to see,
maybe I'm not alone,
maybe there's a we.
[Chorus]
Stay with me now...
If you're still here -
say it out loud,
for those who can't,
or those who won't.
I'm still here,
that's not nothing -
it's everything!
[Verse 2]
So stay with me now...
Have you ever -
Told yourself lies,
as you tried to stay alive,
on a prescribed supply,
of smiles,
but they didn't provide,
the relief as described,
or didn't work as advertised?
are these pills expired?
maybe my brains just fried,
or wired in a way that undermines,
and deprives me -
see - of what they said they would do?
Still, now I'm inclined -
to say that only you,
and, yeah - maybe your crew,
can supply your own mind,
with the fuel,
that it needs to stay alive.
Well, that's true for me anyway -
maybe not for you.
or i don't know,
maybe you said me too...
I have.
Look, I hope it's clear,
this is not a contest,
all we're looking for,
is for you to still be here,
despite your answer.
FUCK CANCER!
that was random.
no it really wasn't.
see most of us have lost someone to cancer. I have.
but there's a disease that we don't really define,
as one - it's just a condition, a disorder, an illness,
until it's - got you by the throat,
and you start to choke.
See it lives in the mind -
can disguise...
can come outta nowhere,
here have a surprise.
sometimes it's hard to survive...
and you find -
it hard to come back from the dark place in your mind.
Just look at the number of lives...
that are gone...
that it affects...
What do I need you to do next?
Well, out of respect,
for the ones that aren't here with us...
Let's just once...
All say it together...
FUCK DEPRESSION!
And feel free to scream if you need -
I'm here with you.
Have you ever lost someone to their own mind?
I have.
That's right.
Fuck cancer.
But you know what else?
Fuck depression too.
[Chorus]
Stay with me now...
If you're still here -
say it out loud,
for those who can't,
or those who won't.
I'm still here,
that's not nothing -
it's everything!
[Verse 3]
So have you ever -
had someone withhold intimacy,
to try to control you,
or sat blind,
while your bride,
picked up the pen -
again and again,
signed your name on -
line after line,
while you sat 'n tried,
to pretend,
that everything was fine?
Surely, it can't be, just me...
but I have.
[Bridge]
Lost weight in a breakup?
I have.
Hoped you wouldn't wake up?
I have.
Drowned in a pint and a prayer?
I have.
Screamed to your God for not bein' there?
I have.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna say,
that I'm glad we established,
you're all messed up like me.
In fact -
it makes me sad and it wasn't the point.
[Spoken Outro]
The point is to stay with me.
Cuz we all have so many things in our lives -
that we have survived...
that it's hard not to be grateful that we are alive...
So if you've survived,
say it with me now...
cuz those who couldn't are near us,
in this room...
and some who can't are here with us,
so let's say it for them too...
We have.